as i have no real life developments, all i have to share is my reading list from that terribly terrible year that just ended.
(due to my disorganization, i cannot list them in order of when they were read, but rather in order of when i found the scraps of paper telling me i had finished them.)
ahem:
A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gaines
Night by Elie Weisel
Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
The Shack by William Young
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison
On the Bright Side, I am Now the Girlfriend of a Sex-God by Louise Rennison
Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas by Louise Rennison
Fleurs du Mal by Charles Baudelaire
When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
Raise High the Roombeam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction by JD Salinger
Nine Stories by JD Salinger
Thank You for Smoking by Christopher Buckley
Weetzie Bat/Dangerous Angels Series 1-5 by Francesca Lia Block
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
Bonjour Tristesse by Francoise Sagan
Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn
Moviegoer by Walker Percy
We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
White Oleander by Janet Fitch
Second Coming by Walker Percy
Alice in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
The Reader by Bernard Schlink
Winter Birds by Jim Grimsley
Salt Water by Charles Simmons
Stealing Buddha's Dinner by Bich Minh Nguyen
A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson
Sleepless Nights by Elizabeth Hardwick
This is Not a Love Song by Sarabeth Purcell
Love is the Drug by Sarabeth Purcell
Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
Lives of the Twins by Rosamond Smith
Wives and Lovers by Charles Brossard
Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Shopgirl by Steve Martin
Tiny Ladies by Adam Klein
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
All This Heavenly Glory by Elizabeth Crane
Hoot by Carl Haaisen


soooo, that's what happens when i have no social life and no academic schedule.
so far this year i have finished Stepford Wives by Ira Levin and Tithe by Holly Black, and i am currently working on Series of Unfortunate Events, Books 1-13 (I am on book Six) by Lemony Snicket. yeah, yeah, it's written for kids, but i really like it. it makes me lolz, like, all the time.

i guess i can document a few events...
new year's eve, i was with lyndsi, lauren, nick, and their friends. although i have gotten a lot of flack for hanging out with high school kids, they are actually much more interesting and intelligent than most people my age. we toasted with sparkling grape juice and set fireworks in the backyard at midnight. cater (age 13) got my first kiss of 2009 (and don't be a perv; it was on his cheek).
i finally got a bed. it is a real one. no more couch aches for me.
along with 98% of the population, i have made a vow to get healthy. so i haven't eaten any french fries (not a one!) and i have been doing yoga and pilates.
hmm. what else?
oh, i turn 21 in five days. i don't want to celebrate it, so instead, i am driving the girls and nick up to knoxville to spend the long weekend with karli and nathan. they have promised that there will be no streamers and zero party hats. we MIGHT have a cake, but it is gonna be in honor of martin luther king jr. (chocolate icing, duhhhhh)
my family has been really extra great lately. i am finally learning how to communicate with people who share my blood, and it isn't nearly as bad as i thought it was. to help balance it out, though, i have at least three other non-real families that keep me thankful.
and, um, well, uhhh.... i think that's it, really. my life is kinda boring, but i have no complaints.

i hope anyone who still bothers to read this (and even those who gave up livejournal loooong ago) are all having good starts to the year. anything's gotta be better than '08, right?




loooooooove,
amanda lynne

i think i have forgotten how to update my livejournal. for lookin'-back-sakes, i will just share a few little things that might matter a tiny bit maybe.


we have a new president elect.
since i couldn't wear a super cool obama t-shirt, i made obama underwear that i wore to the polls. shhhh
i was charlie chaplin for halloween.
and no, dammit, i did not get the idea from the office.
as charlie, i accidently got tipsy off of some party punch.
i am on book 43 out of 50. i brazenly readjusted my goal to 60 for 2008.
i mean, it's not like i'm in school or anything important like that, you know?
i am still annoyingly happy most of the time, but i have caught myself falling into the seasonal funk.
i have a rash on my face from kaylie's facewash because i have become accustomed to all natural soaps/washes/products.
i also broke out in hives because i was so nervous about the election/my life.
sam and i are bffs again, and, to celebrate, he accidently elbow dropped me in the face.
i am losing weight again.
i bought a new old pair of cowboy boots.
sasha is living with me temporarily until b & a can afford their pet deposit.
i have crushes on at least three people that i shouldn't have crushes on.
four if you count shia lebouf.
i am not celebrating thanksgiving, christmas or my birthday this season.
i will either spend thanksgiving delivering chinese food or i might go volunteer somewhere like a good little hippie.
christmas/the last half of december will be spent up in indiana with jean, reading.
and maybe possibly a short visit up to michigan if i grow some balls.
my birthday will be spent like any other day.
my room is a mess, and i need to do laundry.




i love you and stuff.


ps: i cannot fucking wait for this year to be over.
yeah... i said it.

1. went on a date. i liked it.
2. someone should buy me tickets to see david sedaris at tpac in october.

i poured 350 degree fryer grease down my leg today at work and my left thigh is a mosaic of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree blisters.
i kept wishing it would have been much worse.
god, i am a freak.

oh but i kinda look like a badass, all bandaged and whatnot.

ps: i flunked out of school due to my complete absence after spring break. so i am moving back home and attending volstate until i figure out where the eff i am headed.









pps: i know, right?

i dug up a bush with foot-deep roots.
i want to grow and grow and grow until i can smash small independent businesses beneath my giant feet. i want to melt into a puddle of skin, marrow, and stomach acid, then sink into the earth and poison all the plants. i want to cut out my collar bones, as they've never really served much use. i want to pull every hair out of my head and unravel the tangled goo inside. i want to cut your abdomen open with a butter knife and find the mechanisms of a clock. i want to smash every mirror in the world with my bare fists and the balls of my feet. (i do not believe in superstitions, only self-satisfaction.) i want to peel off my skin in strips like string cheese. i want to build a time machine toaster that will take me to a future where i am empowered, worthy, appreciative of this "freedom", and brunette.
this is not a poem. it is a wishlist. i am not that pretentious.

update:
he says that he is in love with her.
i cannot remember our last kiss.

well, my voice is gone. like, completely. it started with a sinus headache a few days ago, then the smoker's cough yesterday, and now i've woken up wihtout a voice.
sickness=boo.
and it didn't even do the progressive thing where i can sing in the same key as little miss cat power for a day or two, then it disappears.
on a positive note, however, bob and moose's band, The Mother Superiors, is having its first real show tonight. it's at an actual venue and everything! you should come. it's totez freeee.
more good/cool news: i developed and printed my very first pictures for photography class. i thought i had screwed it up royally from the start because i couldnt even get the film on the reel without tearing it, but they all turned out alright. sam helped me with modeling as well as handling the timer, agitation, and cleanup because he is my best friend.
i always say that i'll "post pictures later," but maybe i mean it this time.

okay.
love you, mean it, bye.
-am

it's funny how your own mistakes come back to haunt you.
except, really, it's not funny at all.

classes start tomorrow. i have to go to the art building and officially declare my graphic design major. then i have to go buy books. exciting, yes?
it is almost two a.m. & i can't sleep... even though my first class is at 9. ugh.
i took a really long, hot shower. it lasted the first eight tracks of my iron&wine album and my skin was all red and puffy when i got out.
i don't think i'm ready for school just yet. my eyes hurt.
this was a pointless update. (aren't they all?)

love,
am

i have finally finished my spring '08 schedule. it is super duper boring and i might throw myself off a building, but this will be the END of general education courses! word.
as follows:
M
Exploring Life Biology Lab: 0300pm-0450pm
MWF
United States History Survey I: 0910am-1005am
Basic Black and White Photography: 1130am-1225pm
Exploring Life Biology: 0150pm-0245pm
TR
Experience of Literature: 0910am-1105am



yeahhhhhhhhh, pretty boring. but hooray for the effing photog class. i got into it last semester, but then i had that little freakout and i deleted all my classes, then got stuck with boring crap after late re-registration.
beard is pretty excited about it, too, and he is gonna let me use his Nikon FM2!!!!!!!!! (which i will kiss everyday.)
also: raidernet might be doing the gay thing where it forgets to update itself, but as of right now, i am SUPPOSEDLY getting about $3,000 back from my scholarships/grants. so... word? maybe i will finally get out of debt? and maybe even fix lady edith? maaaaaaaybe.



omgz, i almost forgot! i went caving.
it was pretty awesome. i went with sam, his sister jessica(who is totally way cool), josh, and two of jessica's friends. i think i may even do it again sometime. and again. and perhaps even once more after that.
love, am.


ps: if anybody still reads this crap and wants better update-age, i post pictures and other stupid junk on my facebook much more regularly. gaybook

dear lj,
this is my new best friend, sam:

he is my new best friend because:
-he makes me food like queso, grilled cheese (as seen in the picture), muffins, and cereal
-he makes me hot tea and doesn't get mad when i forget to drink it all
-we listen to sufjan records while we doodle
-we are felons together
-he let me color a bunch of stupid cards and put them up in his room
-he's a jew
-we nightowl together all the time, and we still have stuff to talk about
-the boyfriend digs him
-he's my real-life charlie friend
-we made a pact
-we are soon going to have best friend bracelets
-he used to have an lj, too
-once again, he's a jew


ps: unrelated topic, but FYI my new year's resolution is to read 50 books this year. wish me luck.





( kasey did it. so will i. )

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got everything and then some other stuff more.
firstly: I GOT BANJO!!!!!!! BEARD GET BANJO FORRRR ME!!!!

secondly: BOBBY BUY 80GB IPOD FOR ME TO REPLACE BROKEN BABYPOD!!!!
and DID YOU KNOW?: i can buy "me talk pretty one day" read by the author to put on my ipod and listen to it as i do things that are mobile! i don't believe in books on tape, but BOOKS ON IPOD? yes. perhaps i can sell out and accept this.

more noteworthy gifts:
-banjo for dummies
-4th postsecret book
-criterion collection: royal tennenbaums
-stovetop teapot for loose tea
-clothes clothes clothes (that are actually cute. thank you FINALLY grandma)
-canvas hamper from rayne
-original print of pedro the lion's WHOLE ep from '96 (from myself on xmas eve. i know. selfishhhh. but what a great find!!)


what have i done to deserve such a good christmas????

!!!!
i have completely neglected my lj as of late. i check my friends page daily for updates on suf and my shows, but i keep avoiding the update part. i know it's silly to feel bad for not updating, but i just really like having something to look back on. i mean, christ!, i've had this thing for five years now, and it is just insane being able to read about stupid daily stuff that happened in high school. i guess i'll try to give a simple update about my life as of today.
one week ago today, rayne & i got a pup. he is a little chunky mutt named oscar and he is the grrrrrrrrrreat. tonight, it is my turn to have the pup sleep in my bed. as much as i love oscar, though, i can't help but feel terrible about him because of the border collies. i wanted them so badly and now i'm off at college and beard is stuck with two huge smelly dogs who dig huge holes and get into the trash and bark at little kids (don't get me wrong, they are the best and sweetest puppies in the universe). beh, i dunno. beard seems to like oscar and the puppies have been sorta behaving lately.
more good news: i have attended and will be attending a few good shows. [i loooooove fall tours.] so far i've been to hanson twice (nashville and louisville), went to menomena on halloween (actually missed the main act...quite a funny story), i missed spoon but i seriously thought about going so it almost counts, i WANT to go to feist but probably can't afford to, bobby got us amaaaaaazing tickets to regina at the ryman, i am going to david bazan next monday, and there is the slightest possibility that i will be going up to illinois for another hanson concert (shutup) in december, possibly maybe. EDIT: i aaaaalso went to the grace potter/gov't mule show, but i sat outside through about 98% of mule's performance. grace potter was freaking awesome though!
i am still working at applebee's (it's been about 8 months now), but i'm starting to drift from serving to hosting and g.u. ($8/hr as a dish pig?? yessss.) i kinda really hate it, but the money is good and i hate being the new kid, so i'm sticking it out.
bobby and moose have officially started a band. their intermittent guitarist and their drummer ALSO work at food lion (dorrrrrrrks) and they're pretty good. they played their first show a couple weekends ago, but they didn't get a real name until last night. i can't remember exactly what they decided on...it's either 'mother superior' or 'the mother superior'... the "the" makes a huge difference, i know... they've already been to the studio a few times and will most likely be releasing a finished demo soon. it's pretty cute.
school is okay, i guess. i feel like it just gets in the way of the rest of my life, but i blame that on the curriculum. gen ed classes make me want to throw myself off a building, but at least they're almost over. it feels like such a waste to be spending my sophomore year at college taking classes that i passed in high school. i should call headquarters or something.
yesterday: bobby and i were both off work so we went home to visit beard. we did the typical sitting around and watching crime shows thing then we did our typical going to rivergate, walking around the boring boring mall, demo-ing electric drum kits at sam ash and eating too much at olive garden thing. god i love going home. :) i miss beard and the animules alot and it's hard to find time to go home for any longer than a few hours, but yesterday was good. oh! we also went to cd warehouse where i purchased a rachael yamagata cd, a getupkids cd, a sondre lerche cd, and talk to her on dvd. fun stuffs, right?
today: surviving on 5 hours of sleep and half a cup of cold coffee, i plan to break my record and attend ALL THREE of my wednesday classes, including my lab... that's right! i'm even going to go to the math class that i have skipped for the past two weeks (don't worry, i show up for exams... and pass them). !!!and i've now spent my precious two hour morning break on degrassi trivia, gilmore boxset viewing, and updating this poor neglected thing.
love,
amanda

my life seems to come in bullets.

+i move into my very own murfreesboro apartment in four days.
+my jeep failed emissions, so i'm borrowing grandma's buick. (eek!)
+i worked all weekend and made just about enough to pay off all "move-in" debts.
+sufjan has become essential to my days.
+i miss bonnaroo! real life is too boring and clean.
+i built a freaking coffee table.
+and now i'm working on a freaking bookshelf. yes, i am freaking amazing.
+i've made two new bookbuddies at work and i love them.
+i've finished the hours & miranda july's book and recently started everything is illuminated thanks to natalie.
+mom is still my best friend.
+i really really want menomena's newest album.
+i am a very boring person. hooray!

i'm at bonnaroo!!!!!!!!!!!!
and you're not.


bobby is soooooooooooo coool.
and you're not.

six days ago, karma kicked in.

two days from now, i go to bonnaroo.

it's kind of strange, considering our past & all her transgressions, but here lately, my mother has become one of my best friends. after our last falling out which left me ignoring her calls for almost a month, things have gotten much better. despite all the things i hate about my mother, i'll give her this: when she actually tries, she's a great listener; i guess that's one of the nicer traits i've inherited. spending so much time with a fellow listener resulted in me yacking on incessantly for the two hours it took us to find the flea market a few days ago. it was really good to talk for once, though, and it made me realize that i am the only listener that i know. out of everyone i know/knew, all of them are talkers. all they want to do was talk, talk, talk. and all about themselves. even when i felt the need to finally say something, they always found a way to turn it back around. "oh, you're feeling ___? that reminds me of when i was ___..blah blah blah." i finally realized how completely and totally self-involved everyone is. honestly, if i were to make a list of people that i surrounded myself with, every single person on that list qualifies for self-obsessed. sadly, this initial realization only led to more and more ugly things i had overlooked. they're all phonies. any real connection i ever felt was completely surface. everything else, i just imagined, i guess. needing any kind of attachment, i filled in the gaps with excuses. they say one thing, then do another. take a stance, then change their minds. it's stupid and it's sad and it's frustrating. i want to just keep on ignoring all the bad, and try to reconnect, but i realize now that it just isn't worth it.
until this past year, i had never met an honest person. and now that i have, it's hard to look any of these people in the face.
not to say that i am without any of these faults, because i know that i can be vain, two-faced, shallow, etc. but at least i recognize my shortcomings. and i'm trying to change.
so this summer, i declare a cleansing. i am erasing numbers, giving furniture away, and burning letters.
"And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things..."

>i've been a vegetarian for about 3 1/2 months now. it's pretty cool.
>i hate gallatin. i miss murfreesboro.
>lil' bush is a very stupid idea for a television show
>finding a summer job is 345523523 times harder than it looks
>i bought a canon 8mm video camera at the flea market today
>beard is still, and always wil be, my favorite person ever
>i am sunburnt
>i cannot wait to move into my apartmenttttttttttttttt
>it took me 20 minutes to come up with this

1.) go look at a couple of pictures i took in cincinnati:
www.flickr.com/photos/amzuki
2.) i signed some papers for an apartment at ashwood cove. pretty freaking cool, right?
3.) i die a little bit when i think about not working at applebee's over the summer.

my life as i know it:

+tonight, i eat avocado & cheese while i watch 'rebel without a cause'

+tomorrow, i work 4-whenever

+tomorrow night, i drive home

+saturday morning, i shower, pack, and hit the road

+saturday night, i see sufjan in cincinnati

+sunday, i explore the city, incidentally meeting sufjan at a local used bookstore and we bond over our shared love of spelling textbooks from the 1950s. he then invites me to accompany him to the ben and jerry's scoop shop conveniently located next door. there, we share a large sugarcone and our deepest secrets, finding we have more in common than just antique book collecting. he tells me a funny story about his brother and we laugh together until we're in tears. as we both reach for the same napkin, our hands touch and our eyes meet. mesmerized by our impossibly deep connection, he forgets his tears and the 13 year age difference and gets down on one knee. he crafts me an impromptu promise ring made of a plastic spoon and a button from his shirt and asks me to run away with him & help him make music. he tells me that he can't imagine writing another song without me by his side and promises to make our love the concept for his next album. with love-tears streaming down my face, i kiss his eyes and tell him that i love him more than i love donuts. with this comment, he knows i feel as truly as he does and we dance to the sweeping symphony in our heads.

+sunday night, we walk around the city holding hands in his coat pocket and talking about how many instruments he'll teach me when we get back "home" to ny. he invites me to sleep in his tour bus and offers me the bed while he takes the floor (he's a gentleman, you know. and despite our love that seems to have existed since before the world began, we've only just met)

+monday, i make the appropriate phone calls, letting you all know that the next time you see me will be on the newsstands as you catch sight of sufjan and me staring lovingly at one another on the cover of "Great Musicians and the Girls That Make Their Music Even Better Monthly" and alerting the university that i am withdrawling from school on account of True Love and Indie-Folk Fame.

+monday night through the rest of my life, i am in banjo bliss as sufjan and i live happily-ever-after, adopting unwanted children from third world countries and writing songs about them, traveling the world and the universe to share our music, our love, and our avacado and cheese sandwiches (which ends world hunger). about ten years down the road, we will perform for world leaders & our charmingly simple songs of peace, love, and milkshakes will convince them that "No! War is NOT the answer!" They will be serenaded into tears of guilt and shame for all their dirty deeds and they will all promise then&there never to fight again. from that point on, earth is the most peaceful and happy planet, leaving all the nasty and petty civil wars to jupiter.

+the end.